I’m Alive! – Change

I’m Alive! – Change

It’s interesting: when you look into the future you don’t automatically realize how much could potentially change in your life within the next few months, but when you look back at the last few months that change is suddenly very apparent. That’s where I am right now. That’s where a lot of us are, probably.

In the last few months I’ve been vacant from my blogs (as my prewritten posts have been publishing on my main account), a lot has changed. And though I would have never asked for most of the things that has happened months ago, I am very grateful for everything that is currently in my life. I am so very happy with the people who are close with me. I am excited to meet and create new relationships with new coworkers in the near future. I am extremely excited for and grateful for the opportunities that I have in front of me. It’s been a challenging few months but I am grateful nonetheless.

But all of this also means, a lot of change is still happening. I have new opportunities before me. I have new challenges that await me. I have new obstacles eyeing me at the end of the tunnel that I can already see. And all of this reminds me that change will always be happening.

A few months from now, I will look back and realize how different my life will have had to become to adjust to all the challenges and obstacles I must face. And every few months to come, the same thing will happen. That’s just what happens in life. Change is this never ending cycle that we will never successfully hit pause on. Change will always come. Change is inevitable.

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I Am Thankful

I Am Thankful

For the food on my table – especially Father’s home cooked meals.
For the clothes on my back – especially the ones that make me feel especially warm.
For the roof over my head – I know that not everyone else has this kind of home.
For the electricity that is always there – I don’t know what I’d do without it.
For the technology that I have – I understand not everyone has access to these things as much as I do.
For the toys I grew up playing with – there are so many memories locked inside of those stuff animals now.
For the education that I’ve been given – I get that I am lucky to still easily be in school.
For the family that cares for me – they all mean so much.
For the friends who love me – I don’t know where I’d be without some of them.

For the laptop that lets me work.
For the desk that holds all of my things.
For the supplies that I have to get through the day.
For the candles that calm my senses.
For the kinetic sand that helps drain my stress away.
For the phone that lets me reach out to the people I want/need to.

For my camera – for I would not have discovered my passion for photography without it.
For my access to Photoshop and Lightroom and Adobe Bridge – for I would not have indulged myself in editing without them.
For my class with film photography – for I would not have found my love for the darkroom or an appreciation for the old ways of photography without it.
For my friends’ support – I might’ve given up my passion without their encouragement.
For my friends’ praise – it’s the small things that pushed me to keep going and get better.
For my teacher who always encouraged me and believed in me – she made me feel as if I could do everything I dreamed of.

For the teachers who listened and tried to understand – they gave me an adult figure to talk to when I wanted to and made me feel like I can.
For the high school I ended up at – the environment and the people were different and taught me a lot.
For the experiences I had there (drama and all) – it was those that made me truly grow up and see things in a different light.
For the friends that I met (whether they stayed in my life or not) – they all had something to teach me at one point in time or another.

Just Like That

Just Like That

Will you ruin my favorite songs if it all goes bad

A friend tells me, I always jump all in when I find someone I get along with. I always go in for the long run when I find someone that fits me. I always am all or nothing when it comes to relationships or, really, anything new.

Is this gonna end with champagne or an empty whiskey glass

I can already feel myself reaching out for his hand when we walk side by side down the street. I can already feel myself leaning back against his chest when he stands close behind me.

You lead and I’ll follow along
Let it be whatever you want
I got a feeling this is right We can sleep it on tonight

But what ruins the fun about the present is overthinking what is going to happen in the future. People overthinking, over-analyze, and over-stress over things that they already know are out of their hands. So why stress? So why worry? So why do anything more than just enjoy this time, our time, and have our fun?

When you love at first sight was it’s just nothing
Yeah Oh will we be lovers or enemies
Or maybe somewhere in between

We will not be able to guess where we will end up in the future. If we jump all in, we won’t be able to say if it will work out and we will still be together five years down the road. But if we don’t give it a real chance at tomorrow, won’t we always be wondering “what if” we had given it all we could?

It’ll be what it’s gonna be when we both look back
Are we making my favorite memories or the reason I can’t fall asleep

I don’t know where life is going to lead us to. I don’t know what five years down the road looks like from here. I don’t know what next week looks like for me. But I will give my time to someone who is willing to give their time to me. I will give my time to him if he gives his time to me.

Will you ruin my favorite songs if it all goes bad
Is this gonna end with champagne or an empty whiskey glass

And, with that, we will see where the world leads us.

**Empty Whiskey Glass by Rajiv Dhall lyrics ❤

 

Wait for Me

Wait for Me

Let me be honest with you guys

I am writing. I am writing a lot. I am writing my heart out onto pages and pages in books, on my drive, in my sketchbook, on scratch paper, everywhere. I am writing. I am writing because it has been a part of who I am for many, many years.

Just because I do not post and do not publish, it does not mean it is no longer a part of who I am. Writing will always be a part of who I am. Writing is a part of my heart.

I want to get that clear.

And to those of you who are following my blog(s), I will be back. In a few months, I will be back with stories to tell. I will be back to open my heart to the world once more. I will be back to all of you, one day. I hope you will wait for me until I return, more ready than I feel today.

That is all I will say.

Something Different

Something Different

I’m sick and tired of hearing the phrase “too different“. Yes, the things we aren’t used to can be somewhat intimidating. Yes, the things that we aren’t as exposed to can be very mysterious. Yes, the things we’ve never seen or dealt with may come with some trials of test and errors. But, so what?

The things you aren’t used to can teach you so much. The things you aren’t regularly exposed to can show you a whole new way to see the world in which you are living. The things you have to experiment with may just be your answer to several questions you have had steaming in the back of your mind.

I get it. There’s the “too different” that make your world clash with theirs and nothing but chaos seems to come of it, despite the lesson there is to learn in all of it. But there is also the “too different” that you feel a calling to, that beckons you to get to know it better, to explore your options and to test your limits.

Haven’t you ever been told “there’s nothing wrong with being different”? I see the world differently; you see the world differently. You examine the situation one way while I examine it with a whole different perspective. We can be sitting side by side on the spectrum, but still see things at different eye levels. We can also be trying to scream at each other from opposite sides of the spectrum but, still, either way, something comes of it.

Your world might have always been filled with security while my world might have been dusted with doubt. Your eyes might see the colors of the rainbow while my eyes see only black, grey, and white. It doesn’t matter how “different” we are. But when it comes to denying each other the potential to venture into our “different” worlds, then it matters.

Am I “too different” to try and understand what kind of life you’ve lived? Am I “too different” to become a friend who you can count on? Am I “too different” that you cannot learn anything from me, or vice versa? No.

So enough bullshit about how I will never understand how you see things, enough excuses about why you shouldn’t bother to try and explain your life to me. Enough is enough. There’s no such thing as “too different“, there’s just “different“.

Aside

NOTICE!

Hi everyone,

A bit of time has passed since my last vague post here. I did mean what I said to a certain extent. This means I will be taking a break from blogging for quite some time. I am going to be focusing on everything that is changing around me in my life right now and everything that has yet to come. If you would like to check out the post I published on my second blog, here’s the link:

“To My Readers: A Heads Up”

If any of you would like to follow my second blog, I do have posts scheduled to publish every Sunday and Thursday morning. Those will continue to go up for quite some time and hopefully I will be back before they run out.

I would like to thank you guys for following me on my journeys whether you have followed me from the beginning, middle, or just followed me recently. I have always appreciated hearing back from you all. Thank you for all the support you have given me.

Be back soon.

Aside

@MysteriesofL

Hey guys

Just wanted to let you know I have a twitter account @MysteriesofL where you would get announcements/updates from me about my blogs. Right now I have a poll up regarding the frequency of posts on my yinandyangfallingtogether blog. It will be up for one week and I will update my followers on twitter once it’s been decided (: Please go vote and follow if you haven’t done so

Special thanks to everyone who has followed my journey from the start

Best,

MysteriesofL