Reunited. Finally.

Reunited. Finally.

I missed them so much. When I heard there was a chance just one of them could come to see me that day, it made my day….it made my whole week. I wasn’t expecting for them all to be there. Even though the surprise was slightly given away, it was the best christmas present I could get. They made me the happiest girl just to be able to see them, hang out with them and talk to them with no worries. They came, and they made it the best day I ever lived since I left. I will never forget that incredible day.

The day came and went. It went by too fast, the wait for them to get there was too long, and the minutes that it took me to leave was too heartbreaking. Even though we planned to meet again in the future, it seemed too long for it to get here. But it finally did, after what seemed like ten years of waiting. We met again, but then we had to say goodbye again. But this time it wasn’t just “goodbye” (if it was ever said in the first place. No, it wasn’t because none of us could bare saying such words to each other.), not this time, it was “goodbye, until next time”.

“Until next time” It meant we were going to see each other again sometime. We planned it, and we were all going to count on it. These were friends of mine that I couldn’t imagine my life without. These friends meant everything to me and I wasn’t just going to say goodbye to them. We are going to be meet again. We’ll always be friends, always be there for one another etc. 

They are the best friends I could ever ask for. No, they aren’t just friends to me. We aren’t just friends. They’re my sisters. They’re my brothers. We are siblings and so much more. We can never be separated. Not now, and not ever. 

We will meet again one day. It’s just the wait that’s going to kill me. But at least I know for a fact that the day will come again. it will come a day where we meet again. The only question is, how long I have to wait? The only heartbreaking truth is, I can’t have time stop at the moment where we meet again and I can’t make the day, those hours, last forever.

I wish with all my heart that I could do those things, but I just can’t. But I guess this is where that quote I heard of comes into play, “Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.” But I won’t smile, it won’t show all my happiness for the fact that it happened. I will smile, I will laugh and cry and scream and yell to the world how happy I am that it happened. I’m more than just happy that it happened. Now I just have to find a way to show everyone exactly how happy I am.

 

I miss you guys. I can’t wait to see you all again. I love you guys. Now and forever. Image

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A Chance Not Everyone Gets

A Chance Not Everyone Gets

After my life has turned upside down from a dream that I was living, I was struggling to simply get through the day with a smile on. But as I found my friends and got my fingers typing out stories again, I was more happy and felt like I belonged a little bit more. You would think that when all that has pasted and I am happy again, I would want to stay where I am. No, that’s not the case. 

The school I’ve been wanting to apply to is still there. The deadline for applications are coming soon and I want to get in before it’s too late. There are chances at the school I don’t see anywhere else for someone like me. It’s an art school that many of my friends are currently attending and are loving it there. The year before I was planning to apply but it was too late to send in an application when I discovered that i wanted to go.

The students there learn from professionals in the category that they personally love. There are many different departments and many different classes that you could attend. The school schedule is a little bit different then what I’m use to, but that’s the price I have to pay to get this kind of opportunity.

Even though i don’t plan on making my future based on the arts, I still have that passion and love that’s growing for it. Learning at this school, from these people and with these students would be like a dream come true. Walking around in normal streets, I don’t meet many people who share my passion and love. That’s part of the reason why this school is so different. Everyone who is like me, or something like me, are gathered together to learn from the best. I think that’s a chance I can’t just let go by without taking a risk and leaping for it.

It’s definitely a chance not everyone gets. It’s a chance that I’m not going to sit around and watch disappear. 

If you are like me and have a love for the arts, leave a comment and maybe you have the exact same chance that I do without even knowing it’s there. If you do, we’ll take the leap together and hope for the best.

Wish us luck 🙂

I Want to Take A Moment….

I Want to Take A Moment….

Hi everyone who’s reading this,

Seeing how much my viewing rates have shot up to the sky this past week, I would like to thank all of you who have supported me. I know that my viewer and followers aren’t as many as others but it means so much that you took the time to read my writing and hear me out when I offer my opinion. This blog has went from something I wanted to do just for fun and to try something new. But now as I’ve seen how much my words can affect the lives of others and how many people like my writings, I see this site as, not only a blog, but a passage way for me to get my voice heard. I want to let my words ring loud and clear to those around me and to those who are farther away. I know that I can’t say much to show you how thankful I am for the support that everyone has even me, but I wanted to try.

I will keep posting whenever I can. I hope to inspire others, hep others and give hope to others as well as opening your thoughts to new ideas. If anyone wants to hear my opinion on a certain subject or have a statement to say, please feel free to comment and leave me a message stating what you want. I am always open to new ideas and would love to know how I could help with what I can.

Have a wonderful week.

Thank you again for all the support you’ve given me 

Finally Home…But Can’t Stay

Finally Home…But Can’t Stay

As I stepped foot on the campus, everything felt at home. After all this was where I was meant to be. It’s just a shame I couldn’t stay.

 

I walked down the familiar path. Surrounded with familiar sights and familiar sounds, it was perfect. As I opened the door to the room I had spent most my time in, I couldn’t bare leaving. The room was the same. The desks, the boards, the cabinets, even the books and teacher were all the same. I was finally standing in the exact same room in which the passion I have for photography was discovered, and the love for writing increasingly grew. So many memories ran through my mind, but in the end, I had to leave.

 

Walking back down that familiar path, my eyes met with another that I had not known fairly well, but knew quite well enough. I slightly smiled to greet him; he smiled at the sight of me but neither of us paused to say hello. When only a couple feet stood between myself and the car, an old friend gave me a hug asking where I have been. But again, neither of us paused long enough to say anything much. She wasn’t anyone I had really been fond of, but the feeling of letting her go felt like I was letting go of everything I had there. But it didn’t matter how I felt since, in the end, I had to leave.

 

It had seemed to get colder and colder as I made my way to the car. The sights of it pulling away and drive down the street made my heart break. I couldn’t bare seeing myself leave that place. But even though that was true, I couldn’t bring myself to close my eyes at the sight. It wasn’t every day that I got to see that place, step onto the campus or drive down the road. I couldn’t close my eyes because I didn’t know when I could see these things again and wasn’t willing to take the chance of giving my last one up.

 

I will dearly miss the place, forever yearning to return home.

 

This won’t be “goodbye”. I will come back another time.

I’ll Never Leave You

I’ll Never Leave You

“I’ll never leave you” The exact words I had told you.

In my head I’m thinking “I’ll keep my promise.” But at the same time I’m worried I’ll disappoint you.

What if I’m not all you think I am? A let down? A disappointment? A disgrace? You’ll end up more hurt than you started out. It would be my fault too, and I couldn’t bare the thought of hurting you.

With everything you have been through, I couldn’t imagine giving you more to deal with. All I want to do is take some off your shoulders, help, do something good. But what if I can’t come through?

It’s hard to help someone who doesn’t let you. I’m not blaming anything on you. I understand why you’re how you are. I get it. I think I know what you’re going through…what you’re feeling. But I just wish you would let go a little for me. See that I mean no harm and I’m not going anywhere. Maybe that would help you.

Don’t worry. I mean what I say. I’ll never leave you. I’m not going anywhere. If you need or want support or someone to lean on, you have a place to go to. Just remember that.

2 Months…2 Things Different? Or 20?

2 Months…2 Things Different? Or 20?

It’s been two months since I’ve stepped on that beloved campus ground…67 days to be exact. I wonder how things have changed since I’ve only heard stories. I’m curious about how I have changed and whether they will remember me the same way I remember them. Will everything be different or has everything remained the same? Questions run through my mind unstop without a sign of a break, but I can’t do anything but wait to see what happens next.

 

I’ve dreamed of setting foot there one day. I’ve fantasized about seeing the familiar sights. But what happens when it’s all I ever wished for it to be? At least that would be easier then having to not meet my high standards, since I would end up waiting for the next visit instead of regretting ever going there.

 

There are so many things that rush through my mind. The places I loved standing, the things I never did, the words I had said and the live I had left; they all stand out to me as I wait for the night to end and the sun to shine. I wait for the rays hit my window glass, shine through my empty walls and brighten up my day as it signals the time to go back to where I came from, the place I grew up and learned the things I love to do, and the place I dream of being.

 

There’s only four more hours until day 67 is gone and day 1 of a new round can start its count.

 

I can’t wait ❤

After So Long…Everything is Too Different

After So Long…Everything is Too Different

I look around at the school I attend, the people I hang out with, the classes I go to, etc. but nothing looks familiar. I close my eyes and search for those feelings I had when they were around, my creative thoughts running whenever I was alone, etc. but nothing was there. After so long…everything is too different.

 

Wishing I could go back, I know that’s out of the question. Wanting to feel how i did (happy and carefree), I get lost in the stress and struggle. After so long…I’m so different.

 

Dreaming about how things use to be, I am happy and at peace. But as my eyes flutter open, I am struck with reality and I fall to pieces. The dream is always better than reality. But it’s impossible to stay sleeping forever. Sleeping forever would mean missing everything good about the life I have right now, even if the negative parts would disappear as well.