“How do you know he’s is right for me?”

Every guy is great at something, right? I want a guy who’s only into me, right? He should be able to understand me, make me laugh, and know what I’m thinking even if I don’t say it in words, right? You guy should be proud to have you as his girlfriend, right? The guy would love you no matter what, right? The two of you should be able to talk and get along, sit in silence without it being awkward and plainly enjoy each other’s company, right? So what if you answer ‘yes’ to all of those questions, basing it on him, and still don’t know if “he’s the one”?

What’s the line between “close friends” and “boyfriend”? I never got that. I talk to my friends about stuff every once in a while but nothing really gets answered. “You would care about him A LOT.” I care about all of my friends ‘a lot’. “You want to spend time with him every second of the day.” It’d be nice to have company once in a while, but any of my friends would work. What makes him different? “You think about him a lot.” When my friend’s having problems, I worry when they come to be and I end up thinking about the situation a lot. What’s there to think about when it comes to him?

I just don’t get it. I’m ‘shy’ so I get nervous around a lot of people. I’ve never felt “butterflies in my stomach”. My head goes crazy a lot of the time with so much stuff to think about. My legs never “feel like jello”. I just don’t know what girls are talking about when they’re all jumpy about some guy. I mean…why are they doing that? It’s one guy. Can one guy make you “feel so much” and yada yada yada? When does this happen? Do you just know he’s “the guy” when you meet? Or does it take time after you get to know him?

Has my heart hardened that much?


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