Luck. Would it be called that? “Luck”? Having someone accept you for who you are, and love you anyways? Having someone know almost every bit and detail of you and still think they know nothing? Having them look at you like you’re perfection even when others think you might just be a mistake? Having them see you when you’re hyper and cheerful, depressed and crying or pissed and mad but still see you in the same light they always have? Is that what they call luck? Or is that the word they use…love?? Adoration?? What?
I don’t know how that happened. I feel like it was a dream. Out of the past couple years, every person who was ‘too nice’ or ‘too considerate’ or just plainly ‘too friendly’ was doubted in my mind. What are their intensions? What are they trying to do? What’s their benefits if ___ happens? Are they just ___ because they want ___ ? it seems like every move was questionable in my head. If I got too comfortable around someone new, I’d remind myself to put up my guard and remember my borders. If I was too close to someone, I’d get nervous and want to run away. Sometimes these feelings can be ignored, a lot of the times they are, but the more they become right (after I ignore them) the harder it is the avoid the reaction.
But with…this, it’s different. How? They taught me how to trust when I was younger. They taught me to believe in someone and have faith they mean what they say. They showed me it’s possible for someone outside to care about you so much. They reassured me I wasn’t the only one who cared so much for the people in my life. They proved to me I wasn’t alone; I felt like I was for a long period of time. Even after a period of separation, I think I could always feel like I was being watched over. It was a comforting feeling, a reassurance and a..spec of strength.
I wonder what else life will bring…