I’m sorry I pushed you away. I know you were just trying to help. It just felt like ‘pain’ to me. I didn’t seem to realize how much I needed you there for me. I wanted to pretend like I didn’t, since you never seemed like you needed me. I’m sorry I didn’t come talk to you. I never do that sort of thing…but I really wish I had. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you how much you meant to me. I didn’t think I needed to, but I think I should’ve anyways. I’m sorry I didn’t try to see what you were going through when my world was covered with the hurt I was feeling. I should’ve thought of you all those times I ranted to you and asked for you to be there. I’m sorry I forgot you had your life to deal with too. It seemed like my life was breaking apart while everyone else’s were perfectly holding together. I should’ve known better….I’m sorry.
Even though it didn’t cross my mind back then, you meant so much to me and, whether I’d like to admit to it or not, you still do. You were always there. I saw you four or five times a day. I told you everything. We talked about everything. You’d always make me smile when I thought I was going to cry. You’d always help me see the light when all I saw was pitch black. You’d always make me laugh when I didn’t see any point in it. You always made my day when I thought it couldn’t get worse. It meant so much to me that you were there. I didn’t realize it back then, but the disappearance of you by my side made a HUGE difference. It was like you were the only person I had. That’s how I saw it, anyways. I was always so happy to see you. I was always so excited to talk to you. I was always so intrigued to be with you.
I’m sorry I didn’t realize I loved you back then. Even though now I might not, I still care about you. I still want to see you smiling and laughing. I still want you to be healthy. I still want to look out for you. I still want us to talk, about everything. I still want to have a day with just you to talk and laugh, and just be us. I still want you to know how much you mean to me. I still want you to be loved. I still want you to be the happiest you can be.
I’m still here for you if you ever want to talk. I’m still here for you if you ever need a friend. I’m still here for you if you want someone to listen. I’m still here for you if you ever want the company, even if it means sitting there in silence. I’m still here for you if you ever have problems. I’m still here for you if you want me to be. And even if you don’t, I’ll still be here. I’m still here. Please, remember that.