I’m an artist. I’m a photographer. I’m a writer. I’m a sibling. I’m a sister. I’m a daughter. I’m a friend. I’m a classmate. I’m a peer. I’m a relative. I’m…me. I’m someone who’s there for their friends. I’m someone who wants to be the person who helps, but isn’t always the one who’s doing right. I’m someone who has come to that point in life to decide many things. I’m someone who wants to make a difference in this world. I’m someone who wants to make a difference in people’s lives. I’m someone who loves their friends, family and life…but maybe not as much when life is going downhill. I’m someone who loves photography, who loves arts, who finds passion and peace of mind in their work.
I’m many things and many different kinds of people mashed into one. That’s just a part of who I am. I know that part. That’s the part..the things I can say without society’s remarks, without my expectations being there to cloud my mind, without a second thought of what anyone would think. That’s who I am as of right now. That’s who I’m proud to be.
There are also some things that describe me that I’m not to proud of. Someone might say I’m nosy when it comes to caring about my friends’ business. Someone might say I’m too naive. Someone may say I don’t work hard enough, don’t stay focus for long enough or aren’t mature enough for my age. Someone may say I can’t tell right from wrong, that I care too much or that I worry about others more than i should. These things aren’t exactly things I’m afraid of saying, but they aren’t things I’m totally proud of saying either. I’m fine with how I care about others and how I treat people, personally I am. But it’s how others comment and how others see that trait themselves that makes me weary of whether it’s a good thing or a bad thing.
This is where society, expectations, etc. come to play. They twist these..these…these…these scenarios into our mind and make us think we have to achieve that or else we aren’t “good enough”, “worthy” or “someone to take seriously” even. These scenarios make us look down on certain fields from a young age and look up at fields from day one. Take the medical field for example. What family doesn’t want their child to become this successful doctor, curing patients all over the world? Going to college a little closer to home, or going someone farther away. Depending on what kind of family you’ve grown up in, you might have been persuaded to think one or the other is better. Which parents don’t want their child to stay close to home? Or what family doesn’t want their little bird to fly out of the nest and experience the world on their own terms…get that experience of a lifetime?
We then take these children and push them to choose their path in life. What do you want to do? Where do you want to go? We tell them to make the choice on their own, to follow their dreams, to do what makes them happy….but do all of the parents really mean that? Or are they think they are subtly pushing their child onto a certain path even when it’s bluntly put out there? Are they making their child to take a route they dreamed of going on themselves, and pressuring them to “do the right thing” or “take the easier route”?
For the people out there who ARE deciding on your future:
Listen to your heart. Remember that first paragraph I wrote on who I am? That’s who I think I am without the thought of anything else. That’s who I want to stay and keep being. I want to make everyone else happy too, but I want to make myself happy as well. I know it’s not easy going against someone who say they know the best for you, but in the end it’s going to be your life and the person you’ll be. If you still don’t know or are struggling to erase what everyone else has been saying about the path you should take, then try what I did. Think “Who am I?” and just answer it with what you know. Your answer might be that you’re an actor/actress, you’re a doctor, you’re a accountant, etc. You might say that you’re a friend, relative, sister/brother, etc. You might say that you’re someone who wants to help people, stay away from home, travel, etc. Whatever it may be, you already know. You might not know what you want to be for the rest of your life, or who you will be in the next five years, but at least you know who you are now. That’s what matters. You have to start from somewhere, right?