Who’s Listening?

He says “I know” once, twice…then ten times. He keeps saying it, but does it mean it’s actually true? If he knew, would these events continue constantly? If he knew, would he keep doing what he does? If he knew, wouldn’t he try to stop all these negative feelings that keep flooding throughout my systems? If he knew, wouldn’t something…I don’t know…GOOD? become of it? If he knew, wouldn’t he stop? If he knew…would he continue to say “I know” or actually do something?

I don’t think he knows. How could he understand what’s going through my mind? I get that I don’t tell him EVERYTHING, but even if I did he wouldn’t be able to get what I’m feeling under my circumstances and throughout my thought process. That’s just something that you CAN’T explain. And even if he somehow does ‘understand’ what I’m feeling, he would never GET IT. He would never be able to know what it feels like from my standing point. There’s that thing where you try to position yourself in the other person’s shoes, but that doesn’t work a hundred precent.

He just doesn’t know. He doesn’t get it. He doesn’t understand. He doesn’t, and he probably never will. Done. The end. There’s nothing left to say. Right?

Whenever he says “I know”: There’s nothing really left to say without saying “No, you don’t know” straight out. There’s nothing really left to do but to yell at him “You will never get it and stop trying to pretend and fool yourself into thinking that you do” constantly. There’s nothing really left to talk about until you start to explain “You don’t stand in my shoes. You aren’t me. You can’t get it” for the ten thousandths time. There’s just nothing really left there anymore. The conversation just ends.

Even if he were to be the person who has known me for years and gets me the most out of all my friends, he still won’t GET IT. I mean, the guy who is actually that person (the person who has known me for years and gets me the most out of all my friends) doesn’t GET IT.

He doesn’t get it…but then again…why do I care? It’s my life. They’re my feelings. They’re my problems. They’re my conflicts. It’s my battle.

Darn it. Why DO I even care?

I shouldn’t. But I do.

I hate that I can’t help but care….No wonder people say I care too much.

Darn it…..

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About MysteriesOfLife

“I’m a simple girl.” “You lied. You aren’t simple at all.” “Maybe I’m not. But if I said that, would you have stayed around to figure me out?”
This entry was posted in I Don't Give Up Easily, Stream Consciousness. Bookmark the permalink.

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