Wanted To Help

When you’re silent, when you ignore me, when you act like I’m nobody, when you don’t understand how worried I get, when you don’t see how much I care, when you avoid my gaze, when you shut me out…I care. It’s not like everyone else. I’ve been in this position a thousand, a million, a billion times before, yet it’s different because it’s with you.

When you’re silent, when you ignore me, when you act like I’m nobody, when you don’t understand how worried I get, when you don’t see how much I care, when you avoid my gaze, when you shut me out…I see it as a punishment. When I don’t know why you’re doing it…I see it as a punishment for something I don’t know I did. The sudden disturbance within the happy world I had been surrounded in, is a red flag that I did something wrong.

Please don’t abuse this power.

When this happens…my heart aches, my brain gets filled with unknown question yearning for answers, my stomach feels sick and my mind just won’t rest thinking at a sprint for hours at a time. I hate seeing you so down, so hurt, so broken, and not be able to do anything. I hate knowing that it’s my fault. I hate not knowing what I can do to make it all better, for you. I hate the missing feeling of the presence of you when you’re happy and uplifting.

I know it’s selfish to want you happy every second of every day, but I sorta do. I don’t want to see you upset, to see you down, to see you cry. Yes, I don’t want to see you in pain but I’d rather see it and be able to do something than not see it and think it doesn’t exist. So please, do me a favor. Tell me what’s wrong. Tell me what I can do. Tell me what you need and I’ll get it to you. I want to help in every way I can. Please, do me this favor.

Or is it too much to ask?

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About MysteriesOfLife

"The 'Earth' without 'art' is just 'eh'."
This entry was posted in I Don't Give Up Easily, Stream Consciousness. Bookmark the permalink.

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