May 5: The Glass

“Both optimists and pessimists contribute to society. The optimist invents the airplane, the pessimist the parachute.” -George Bernard Shaw

I don’t know whether I got the name right…my apologizes if I do not 

Being an optimist or a pessimist, you both have your characteristics that stand out. Not one thing can be all good, nor can one thing be totally bad. With these two, there are plainly two different perspectives on the world that surround us. We all see the world our own unique way, so we might see something someone else does not. Vice versa. Both contribute to society, like the quote above states, and have their perks.

I, myself, can be either. The glass can be half empty at times, but seem to be half full other times. It depends on the situation I’m in. But no matter what, I always have to remind myself to try to have a balance of some sort between the two. You don’t want to be completely focused on the negative, and forget what’s beautiful about what you’re looking at. It works both ways. You don’t want to focus too much on what’s going well, that you forget all the bad things that are coming with (being the price to pay).

I found this fairly interesting. Though I have heard many of these, a lot I don’t think anyone has:

The optimist says the glass is half full.

The pessimist says the glass is half empty.

The project manager says the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

The realist says the glass contains half the required amount of liquid for it to overflow.

And the cynic… wonders who drank the other half.

The school teacher says it’s not about whether the glass is half empty or half full, it’s whether there is something in the glass at all.

Anyway… Attitude is not about whether the glass is half full or half empty, it’s about who is paying for the next round.

The professional trainer does not care if the glass is half full or half empty, he just knows that starting the discussion will give him ten minutes to figure out why his powerpoint presentation is not working.

The ground-down mother of a persistently demanding five-year-old says sweetheart it’s whatever you want it to be, just please let mummy have five minutes peace and quiet.

The consultant says let’s examine the question, prepare a strategy for an answer, and all for a daily rate of…

The inquisitive troublemaker wants to know what’s in the glass anyhow… and wants the rest of it.

The homebuilder sees the dirty glass, washes and dries it, then puts it away in a custom oak and etched glass cabinet that he built himself using only hand tools.

The worrier frets that the remaining half will evaporate by next morning.

The fanatic thinks the glass is completely full, even though it isn’t.

The entrepreneur sees the glass as undervalued by half its potential.

The computer specialist says that next year the glass capacity will double, be half the price, but cost you 50% more for me to give you the answer.

The first engineer says the glass is over-designed for the quantity of water.

The second engineer says (when the half is tainted) he’s glad he put the other half in a redundant glass. (Based on a Dilbert cartoon by Scott Adams)

The computer programmer says the glass is full-empty.

The Buddhist says don’t worry, remember the glass is already broken.

The personal coach knows that the glass goes from full to empty depending on the circumstances, and reminds the drinker that he can always fill the glass when he wishes.

The grammarian says that while the terms half-full and half-empty are colloquially acceptable the glass can technically be neither since both full and empty are absolute states and therefore are incapable of being halved or modified in any way.

The auditor first checks whether the empty half is material and then designs the audit procedures to obtain sufficient evidence to conclude that the glass is indeed empty.

The waiter will hurry to replace the glass with a full one. For him there are no doubts: the glass was empty when he took it away; it is full in the bill that he brings you.

The magician will show you the glass with the full half at the top.

The physicist says that the glass is not empty at all – it is half-filled with water and half-filled with air – hence, fully filled on the whole!

The musician says he/she is unimpressed with the promoter of the concert for not providing more alcohol.

And if those weren’t strange enough:

The dog just wonders: can he eat the glass or will you throw it so he can bring it back… The cat wonders why the glass is only half full (or empty)… is it a trick… poison perhaps…

The eternally optimistic eccentric would say, the glass is consistently overflowing (or is that the neurotic?…)

The obsessive compulsive postpones the question until the level is checked, and checked again, and again, and again…

The phobic says yuck, someone drank out of it and left his germs on the glass.

The psychiatrist would ask you, “Is the half-empty/half-full glass really that important? I mean… really? Think about it. If fact, let’s not. Let’s set that particular issue aside for a few moments and talk about what’s really bothering you..”

The optimist says: “The glass is half-full.” The pessimist says: “The glass is half-empty”. And while they are arguing, the pragmatist takes the glass and drinks it.

The boss expects the half-empty glass to be filled in half the time it took to fill half the glass, at half the going rate.

The drill sergeant says make the glass do push-ups until it sweats itself full!!!

The police officer says: “I’ll ask the questions.”

For the rest of the versions, check: http://www.businessballs.com/glass-half-full-empty.htm

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About MysteriesOfLife

“I’m a simple girl.” “You lied. You aren’t simple at all.” “Maybe I’m not. But if I said that, would you have stayed around to figure me out?”
This entry was posted in 365 Days of Writing Prompts, Personal Favorites. Bookmark the permalink.

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