It’s always been hard for me to say ‘goodbye’ to someone and let them walk down their own path without me. I get attached to people. A lot of the times, when someone who’s treated me so well for so long, wants to leave I can’t help but wonder if I’ll get lucky enough to find someone like that again. Someone who will be such a great friend, mentor, etc. Memories run through my head and I can’t seem to get rid of the knowledge that we won’t be making more memories together.
I yearn for that person to come back. The presence of someone had being ‘normal’ and it’s oddly uncomfortable without it when it’s suddenly gone. Especially when it happens abruptly, I wonder what I did wrong or what happened that made this friendship go downhill. Sometimes, I haven’t done anything wrong and it was just how life wanted it to be. But there’s always that phase of question I have to go through.
When I see someone walk away, I want to catch up to them and hold them close. I want to be there for them, have them, help them, etc. But that’s not always the best choice.
I have a hard time letting go even when what I’m trying to hold onto isn’t there anymore. I guess…I never believe I’ll be THAT lucky a second time ’round.
it’s just who I am.