May 19: State of Your Year

May 19: State of Your Year

Stress. That’s literally pretty much all I can say by this point. It’s terrifying to wait for the end to finally come. It’s so close…yet that’s exactly the problem. It’s too close to be the end…of chances to make things better, of opportunities to make memories, of possibilities to do better, of moments to make last. It’s too close to have everything just be etched into stone, and be…DONE.

It’s great that ‘summer’ is almost here and whatnot. But honestly? I’m dreading the one time of the year I use to beg to come faster. This time has always been just fun and free time to do whatever I wanted. But now…there’s work, there’s applications, there’s research, there are classes, etc. This summer is going to be…simply too full to be fun.

Right now, looking at where I am and where I have to get in the next year, I don’t want to be standing here. Not one bit. Not anymore. I use to wait for the day to move out, to make THOSE decisions of where to go, what to study, how to live. But now that it’s MY turn to make them FOR ME I’m finding myself taking every turn there is to take the ‘longer route’.

I want to get there. I do. I want to be done with school and go up in these levels of education. But the stress to get there is killing me. I’m sure everyone has gone through this. I’m sure everyone has. But…no one can decide for me.

Standing here today, I want to flee and run away.

Can’t there be an easier way?

<a href=””>State of Your Year</a>


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