It’s almost summer. Just yesterday I was wishing it was January again. I remember it so well. Yet so faintly at the same time. The other day I wanted it to be Christmas…the string of holidays that seemed to never end. I wanted it to be August. I wanted it to be March. Then February. Then January. Then I wanted it to be 2013.
I wanted it to be…that first year once again. Going out and developing my passion for photography all over again. Getting on that editor’s page. Hanging out with MY friends, MY girls, MY gang. I wanted to go back to the place where…I was home.
So much time has passed since I left there. But I still miss it just as I did the first week I was gone. I want to go back very much. I want to be home again. Be…where I “grew up” and all that. Where I was me. Where I was dominant. Where I was comfortable. But I’m not there. I’m here…and what am I doing? I’m looking at people like they use to look at me. Well…I guess I’ve got my old thing back….not really.
It’s not the same being here…like it was when I was there. I had my gang. I had my group. I had my boys. I had my people. We were everything. To us at least. We had each other’s backs. We knew each other inside and out. We got along and joked a bunch. We played together like cats and dogs. We were a great team. No issues. No problems. No drama. No arguments. Nothing. Not much anyways. Everything would be really handled and everything got settled just fine.
But time has passed from there. Now there’s drama. Now there’s issues. Now there are feelings hurt. Now people are getting yelled at. Now people are getting busted, and laughed at, etc. Friendships are being torn. People are avoiding each other. Those who use to care about you are now stabbing you in the back. What kind of people are we now? It doesn’t seem anything like the group I use to have.
I’m not saying I don’t love these people I’m with now. But honestly? It’s tiresome. Yes there were things we had to handle in the past, back home, but things were a lot lighter and the people were a lot…less complicated in a sense. We trusted each other FULLY.
or…maybe I’m just tired.