I look back from time to time and wonder what would have happened, what would have become of me, the people around me, or our lives in general if something hadn’t happened the way it did. What if the one thing I wished had happened, really did? I look back to the last few years and sometimes try to come up with all these weird/awesome turnouts that could have occurred.
We all wish, from time to time, for something in our lives to be different. Let’s be honest. A lot of the times, life just doesn’t seem that amazing as it does it our heads. Our dreams, our fantasies, etc. are always these amazing outcomes, these dramatic, romantic, or silly situations that always somehow fix themselves magically and easily. They are these one-in-a-lifetime kind of experiences that we only read in books or see in movies, that we want to live ourselves.
I do this all the time. I’ve wondered if all the drama, that came with my old friend coming back into my life, would’ve been easier to handle if I hadn’t let them return to me. I’ve wondered if the relationships around me would have started the way they did, or the couples would’ve come together in the pairs that they have, if I had appeared a little bit earlier in everyone’s lives. I’ve wondered where I would be in my life right now if I hadn’t moved schools and left everything I once knew back at my old place.
Honestly? I’ve been curious about a lot of ‘what if’s. I turn a lot of past situations around in my head and play them out the way I would have wanted them to have happened. But it doesn’t mean I would go back and change everything. Yes, I have wanted to go back and change a lot of things but all of that was only because I was not happy with where I have come and what I had to go through, deal with, etc. to get there. I was not satisfied. But with time, I learned that everything I had to put up with have served their purpose.
There are a lot of aspects of my life that would not have turned out the way they have, if current events hadn’t played the way they did. I would have never met the friends I hold close at heart today if I had not left the ones I use to play with. I would have never seen all the possibilities at this new place if I had not learned to deal with the circumstances I found myself in.
My life might not have turned out this way if things had happened differently for me in the past. I, myself, wouldn’t have turned out this way if I hadn’t gone through the things I did. I might be that proud of every single thing that has happened, that I’ve done, etc. throughout my life, but they have brought me to where I am today. The things I’ve gone through built me up to who I am today. I might not be super proud of how I got here, but I got here. I did it.