These days, asking for help isn’t always the easiest. ____ can do it on their own, why can’t you? ____ is fine by themselves, why aren’t you? ___ can do this, ___ can do that, why can’t you?
We all compare ourselves to each other. We see all these people walking around us, and see mainly the good things that happen to them but not us. We see their strengths and their happy outside, but what we don’t see is what we don’t compare to.
A girl is walking around her friends with a smile, laughing and hugging people. She seems very happy and carefree. What people don’t know is she might be crying herself to sleep each night. She might be asking for attention because she doesn’t have any at home. Stuff like that.
A boy is silent and is always there for everyone. He seems very confident, very experienced with life and very secure. What people don’t know is he might have gone through hell and came back to learn the things he has. He might know things because he has gone through the pain. He might be there for everyone, but at the same time not have anyone there for him.
So why don’t people ask for help when they need it? Emotionally and physically.
People have come to this conclusion that asking for help is weak. They have this standard of themselves to uphold. They have this reputation of being “the strong one” or something.
You know what I have to say to that? …I’m learning.
I have always been that person who never asks help when she needs to. I have always been the person who is always there for everyone else, but never felt like anyone was there for her. I have always been the girl who laughs the loudest, because she cries the softest. Something like that.
I have people who look up to me, people younger and people my age and so forth. They see the side of me who always seems to have everything in order. They see the side who can walk as a lone wolf and be completely fine in times of crisis. They see the strong side, the invulnerable side, the independent side but they don’t always understand that there is also a fragile side, an unstable side, and a scared side.
Throughout years, I have found that showing this other side of me isn’t always to my benefit. People are out there who want to get this information and harm you with it. People are out there who are up to no good. All the backstabbing and the lies and the hurtful actions have taught me to always have my guard up, and to never show this other more vulnerable side.
But, like I said, I’m learning. I have found two people who I can truly always trust to be there for me and to help me through things. They tell me when I’m doing something I’m not suppose to be. They support me when I need a helping hand. They help me see things clearer when my eyes are fogged up by something else. They don’t pressure me into doing things I don’t want to. They don’t gang up on me to get something out of me. They respect me and my decisions on my own life.
I love these two. And, yeah, I am learning to reach out to them when I need something. Other friends might not be the nicest or most considerate or understanding, but I know these two will have my back through thick and thin.
Because of what I’ve grown up doing, I don’t like feeling as if I can’t do something on my own. I don’t want to feel useless or weak, and usually I did when I asked for help. That’s why I never did. But now I’m figuring it out. I’m finding out that it’s a lot easier to handle some things when you have someone there.
So, for the people out there who are like me:
You might think it’s easier to deal with things on your own (and most of the time, it is), but it’s even easier to have someone you trust there through it with you.