I don’t want to come to disrespect myself. I don’t want to come to the point where I would shun myself for the things I’ve done if I was on the outside looking in. I don’t want to come to hate myself. I don’t want to come to the point where I can’t think well of myself because of the things I know I’ve done.
But I also don’t want to leave.
I have to respect myself to give my happiness importance. I have to respect myself enough to walk away when I deserve better. I have to respect myself enough to say ‘no’ even when I want to wait for the time to say ‘yes’. I have to respect myself to push my own needs above of someone else’s…even when it’s someone I hold close at heart.
But I haven’t before…why start now?
I have walked away before (once) from a situation I deserved better in. I have abandoned people who treated me poorly after years of hanging onto what I thought was still there, and worth it to stay. I have said ‘no’ to things I wanted to say ‘yes’ to because I knew it was the right thing to do.
I have before. Will I now?
I don’t want to hurt anyone. Yes, I’d rather be the person feeling the hurt rather than be the one seeing another endure the pain.
The question is: Am I tired of getting hurt yet?