Looking back at the memories we shared, I get those feelings back; the feelings I thought were never going to be repaired. After all the hurt and pain that came through, I never thought I would look at you the same. Yet I’m sitting here, listening to the songs, singing along, and the memories come back to haunt me.
I remember thinking everything would be okay as long as we both have the other at our side. We walked through life in those moments…barely having a care in the world. No matter what others side and what others thought, approved or not, we kept walking side by side. There was a feeling of belonging within those memories that come back flooding towards me.
I still feel those that I felt when living in the moment. I go back now, and still feel the same, but I know the feelings have gone away. I know they have vanished from current time, current memories, current…me. There isn’t a place I can find these feelings again unless I go back into time and replay those memories with you.
I didn’t want to loose you then. I don’t really want to loose you now. I know things will never be the same. I can’t trust the way I had. I can’t push away things the way I did. I can’t let things pass the way I had. I won’t let myself get hurt the way I did.
It’s not that I won’t survive it for the second time in a row. I know I can. I just don’t want to.
There will always be a certain way that we lived together and balanced each other out. There will always be those special moments we shared. There will always be that way you looked at me. There will always be something about how we matched together. There will always be the memories and the feelings within…