November 23: I Have Confidence In Me

November 23: I Have Confidence In Me

“You’ll be fine.” “Whatever you do, I’ll be proud of you.” “Your work is always beautiful.” “You just don’t believe in yourself right now. I do.” “I’m sure whatever you do you will be proud of.”

You have so much confidence in me. When I get insecure and doubtful, I get the confidence in myself through what you see in me.

You believe I can do anything I set my mind to. You believe that as long as I try I will amaze everyone, including myself. You believe that no matter what hard situation I find myself in I will be alright. You believe in me when I can’t find the courage to.

You encourage me when I am scared to take another step forward. You support me when I’m breaking down. You are there for me when I am insecure. You fill my mind with wonderful possibilities when I’m not sure.

You’re everything my parents weren’t. You’re everything I could ask for in a friend. You’re everything I wished for in the end.

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One Day…

One Day…

One day we’ll go to Paris together. One day we’ll go on a cruise. One day we’ll go drinking. One day we’ll take a trip to Big Bear. One day we’ll figure all of this out. One day we’ll have a bonfire. One day we’ll go on a road trip and travel the world together. One day…we’ll have it all figured out.

One day we’ll have a sleep over at my new apartment. One day we’ll walk down to the coffee shop together. One day we’ll go on a double date. One day we’ll have a movie marathon. One day…we’ll be okay.

We all have these plans for ‘one day’…but what about today?

One day this all will past. One day we will get a break from life. One day we will figure this out. One day we will be okay. One day we will talk about it. One day we will sit down and just be together. One day

“One day” gets said…every day.

One Nasty Night

One Nasty Night

She walks down the dark empty street. She feels at home. She is finally calm and at peace after several endless weeks of chaos. She walks slowly; there is a little bounce to her steps. A smile forms on her face as beautiful memories replay themselves through her mind.

There is a shadow behind her. It grows from hers as her shape lifts from the ground. A dark aura spills from the edges. There seems to be a mist, a vaporizing smoke that flies around the creature. It stalks her. The atmosphere changes and her body tenses. She feels something is off. A wall had fallen down on her happiness.

The creature mirrors her. For every step she takes, it takes one. The creature…is her.

Suddenly there is a monstrous shriek. It rings through the icy cold air. My heart skips a beat. Her footsteps freeze. In milliseconds her form changes and she is the beast. But in the moment of weakness, in between the change, the shadow attacks and holds a death grip at her throat. I want to jump and somehow save the day but I can’t move nor have a say.

I watch as she gasps for air, helpless to do anything. She struggles as she is lifted from the ground. Her nails dig at her neck, trying to get out of the grip. She fails. She grows limp.

The shadow lets go, calms down, and returns to a more stable form. It looks down at the body it use to follow as a shadow. It looks down at the girl and…I think it felt sorrow.

It calms down, changes form…and now it’s the girl looking down on herself.

It was a battle between two sides of herself.

She looks down, emotionless and dry, then turns to ask me, “Why did I do that to myself?”

November 21: A Bird, A Plane, YOU!

November 21: A Bird, A Plane, YOU!

There’s always the typical you hear when someone is asked about superpowers.

I want to be able to fly.

I want to be able to run at the speed of light.

I want to be able to be invisible.

I want to be able to control time.

But why?

Does the person who wants to fly want to escape from the limitations they have been given?

Does the person who wants to run fast feel the need to get away from whatever it is that is holding them?

Does the person who wants to not be seen get bullied or go through something that makes them not want to be there?

Does the person who wants to control time have a memory they want to go back to, a time where everything seemed better?

There’s always a reason for wanting something…even something that they know will never happen. Superpowers will never happen, but an escape route or a better course is always given to those who pay attention.

I Am Not What You May Think

I Am Not What You May Think

I want to break free.
The mask that covers me, the sheets that coat me, the chains that I try to break from hold me against my will in this cold coffin that society has put me in. The strings on my wrists, the buckles on my ankles twist me this way and that, never allowing me to do as I please.

I want to break free.
I know there is a world of freedom and independency. That is where I want to be.

I want to break free.
The commands of others constantly flood through my mind. It’s about what they want, what they would like, and the things they want to find. It’s never about me, even though it’s my life. I am a mere puppet to their dispense. I am a here doll who wasn’t given a chance.

I want to break free.
I have my own thoughts. There are things that I want. I want a chance to show the world who I am.

I want to break free.
The chains around my feet an the strings attached to me hold me back and force me to be…

a mere puppet to their dispense
a mere doll who wasn’t given a chance

I want to break free.

Emerald Green

Emerald Green

“You took the shoes!” My sister whined from behind me as i carried the bag of trash out to the back gate.

“You’ll survive! You’re just standing there! I’m walking to the street!” I laughed as I yelled back to her

I fumbled with the lock on the handle briefly before getting hypnotized by something about my car. It was parked at its usual spot in front of the back gate. But there was something about it tonight that made me wonder…

Maybe it’s just the weird night light. I thought. I usually didn’t come out this late and if I did I never paid attention to how my car looked. So it was probably that I was not use to seeing the car in this light.

I walked out to the trash cans that stood at the curb. I looked down the street, as I always did, and saw a million of blurry smudged lights in the distance representing the line of city lights. The sun had set and the street lights were on. I hadn’t had my glasses on. Everything had a tad fuzz to it. A little worse than I remember before. But I didn’t let it bug me.

I continued to throw away the trash. When I was finished, I looked back down the street again. Below the horizon was the rest of the street that my house was on. It went pitch black near the end of the hill, but I knew the hill continued down and around to a dead end.

There was something there. Suddenly I got a cold chill down my back. My eyes darted to the other side of the street, where the street lights were closer and the pathway a bit brighter. I still had a bad feeling. I could feel someone watching me. But I couldn’t bring myself to walk inside.

I looked back down into the blackness of the street. I swore I could see glimpses of emerald green eyes staring back at me throughout the thickness of the darkness.

I started walking inside. I walked faster and faster. Something was following me. Soon i was darting inside the gate and slamming it closed.

Once I got inside, I steadied my breathe and calmed down. I quietly laughed to myself, realizing there was nothing there. I was just being paranoid.

Then the green eyes appeared in front of the gate. I had started to turn around and head inside when I saw them. I didn’t dare look back to make sure I saw right.

When I got around the corner, to the other side of the pool. I looked back. There was nothing at the gate. But there were green eyes from beyond my building…in my backyard.