My mind goes blank when I try to remember that morning. The doctors had said a concussion would erase the moments before and after the accident. The doctors had also explained that I had a lot of muscle spasms and would be feeling the pain in both my head and neck for several days. I hated it.
For the next several days, I would start shaking in fear when I saw my car. I couldn’t even think about getting behind the wheel again, but I understood that I would need to soon. I could not be driven around for very long. For the next few weeks, I winced and flinched and shook whenever the driver stepped on the brakes a bit too hard or got too close to the car in front of us…or even when the screeching sound the tires made when someone turned too fast or the sound of a horn somewhere nearby. I was a wreck; that is what I thought anyway.
It’s been a over a month since the car accident. I continue to have panic attacks when the car I am in get close to a car accident. I continue to shake and flinch when the brakes are stepped on too fast. I continue to flinch and get terribly scared when the car gets a bit too close to any other car. I continue to get reminded of the accident as I see countless of other car crashes along both the highways and inside streets.
Nothing use to bother me about driving. I was confident about my ability. I thought I never would be the person who got into a major car crash. I would past accidents every other day but never stopped to think that it could be me one day. I never thought I would be one to have a fear of driving.
I don’t think anyone ever thinks they could be the one dealing with something like this. You can never predict that you will get into a situation that would scar you for many months, or even years, to come. No one thinks, “One day I’ll be in a car accident.” or “One day I will be fighting cancer.” or “One day I will have severe anxiety.” No one thinks that one day it could be them in situations they constantly hear about.
This leads to no one being prepared for all the possible situations they could find themselves in because one can never be prepared for every single thing that could happen. The future is this unknown place that we venture into every single day we wake up. No one knows what will happen. No one can know for sure. No one can “be ready”.