Welcome Back…

I know it’s been a while since we’ve talked.
I know a lot has changed – on my side of the story anyway.
I know it’s time to focus on the future more than what’s happening right now.
I know we’ll both just get busier and busier.

I know it’s wary to say I still “feel at home” when talking to you.
I know it’s wary to say you’re still the easiest person to talk to…and most enjoyable at times.
I know it’s wary to say I am realizing the empty place you left in my life has been filled since you’ve come back.
I know it’s wary to say there are some things that cannot be duplicated in a relationship with someone else that I have with you.

But…

I know I will never trust you the same, if I can come trust you at all after everything you put me through.
I know I will never forget everything that happened for it had scarred me for life.
I know I will never be able to go back to how things were and feel like that again.
I know I will never be that little girl who trusted, who believed, who thought her fairytale would never end.

I know I am still trying to heal as I push the pain to the side.
I know I am still trying to accept and move forward from the scar you had left behind.
I know I am still trying to go through my life and find strength to be alright.
Because I know…I am still trying to push past the scar that continues to haunt me day in and day out.

But…

I know you bring a smile to my face as I am able to talk freely with you since…I always have my guard up uncomfortably high with nearly everyone else.
I know you make me feel better when you listen to my struggles and rants since…no one else will listen or puts up with my problems.
I know you give me a sense of well-being because I know you accept me for who I am since…everyone else seems to always be pointing out flaws and pushing me to change, not liking anything about who I truly am.

……what do I say?

I know I’m stressed out with everything that is going on in my life right now.
I know I don’t have much of an escape route, any outlet of any sort.
I know I’m dealing with a lot right now, physically and mentally, and feel overwhelmed some of the times.
I know I have a lot of pressure, a lot of expectations, a lot of…everything, that sometimes I just want to scream.

So, I know I might be too glad that you’re back in my life.
I know I might be too happy that I have someone to talk to who will accept me, listen to me, and be there for me…even if that person is you.
I know I might be too grateful for the little that you go because of everything I’m dealing with, everything that life’s putting me through.

I know I’m welcoming you back with open arms even though I might want to consider being more wary.
I know I’m becoming too excited about talking to you even though I might want to keep my distance.
I know I’m jumping in too far too fast even though I might want to not think of it as anything yet.
I know I’m starting to believe in you again too quick even though I might want to not trust anything right now.

But…

Welcome back. 🙂

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About MysteriesOfLife

“I’m a simple girl.” “You lied. You aren’t simple at all.” “Maybe I’m not. But if I said that, would you have stayed around to figure me out?”
This entry was posted in A Little Escape, Other Writing Prompts, Stream Consciousness and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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