Dear Life

I’m forgetting how much time has passed. It’s been six years since I moved to this house. Yet I still remember getting the news of getting the house that day at the old house. Yet I still remember coming to the house to clean it constantly during that summer and not being able to help with anything. Yet I still remember that first night we moved with the blankets piled in the car. Yet I still remember sleeping on a blanket after we arrived to the house, being an exhausted little child. Yet I still remember how annoyed I was when I walked around the new house with boxes everywhere, not wanting to unpack. Yet I still remember the first couple times driving down the streets, admiring the new places. Yet I still remember the feeling of adventure whenever we drove around, the surreal feeling as if we were just going for a vacation.

I’m forgetting how old I really am. I still want to be a child. I still want to have that time before those big decisions I have to make. I still want to be taken care of. I still want to pretend life is perfect around me. I still want to think everything is going to be alright…forever. I still want to think I have friends I can trust. I still want to be able to push people away and expect them to come back and tell me everything is going to be okay. I still want to believe everything to be okay. I still want to be able to walk through life like a breeze.

I’m forgetting…a lot of things. I’m forgetting how my parents are getting older as I grow. I’m forgetting how my life is never going to halt in front of me. I’m forgetting how time doesn’t wait for anyone. I’m forgetting how I need to start taking care of myself. I’m forgetting how I’m soon going to be on my own, facing the real world by myself.

I’m sorry I’m forgetting so much. Can you slow down? Can you stop for a couple more years? Can you wait for me to figure things out? Can you freeze until I am not so broken anymore? Or better yet…

Can you go back to how things were? Can you go back to the time where I didn’t know any better? Can you relapse to the years I was just..happy…and nothing else? Can you go back? To the times I thought I could take on the world and be okay? To the moments I felt like everything was going to be okay? To the memories that I have of happiness…wherever they are in my mind…?

Can you go backwards? To a time I thought everything was alright? That’d be a dream come true…..

I’m forgetting how strong I can be. I’m forgetting how smart I can be. I’m forgetting all the good things in life. Can you go back to a time I remembered?

Please?

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About MysteriesOfLife

“I’m a simple girl.” “You lied. You aren’t simple at all.” “Maybe I’m not. But if I said that, would you have stayed around to figure me out?”
This entry was posted in In Front Of Me, Other Writing Prompts, Stream Consciousness and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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