I Know

I know you love me. I know you care a lot about me. I know you want to be there for me despite everything that goes on in your own life. I know you want the absolute best for me. I know…you love me.

But there are some things I have to do on my own. There is a path I have to walk independently instead of constantly asking for help. There are some questions only I can produce answers for. I have to do this.

This doesn’t mean I don’t love you. It doesn’t mean I don’t want to be a part of your life anymore. This doesn’t mean I don’t care about you anymore. I want the absolute best for you just as you do for me. I want to be able to help you make your dreams come true. I want to be a part of the big parts in your life. I do.

But I have to do this.

I have to take a step back from all my relationships and focus on myself and my own future a little more. I need to plan and analyze what I want to do and where I want to go. But, if anything, I need a break to just be myself and worry about me.

I’ve spent too many years of my life putting everyone before myself. I’ve done it ten too many times, where I neglect myself and my own needs in order to take care of someone else. Even though I mean well and I do my uttermost best to help others, I hurt myself in process. And, now, I realize how much I’ve forced myself to suffer when I could’ve eased some of my pain by just giving myself some of my time and attention.

I still want my friends. I still want my relationships. I still want all those things. I just need to balance out my life a little more right now. There are things I need to take care of; there are things I need to face head on; there are things I need to accept and learn. I have do walk a part of my path alone.

I’m not going to be fighting insanely hard to grasp a hold on the relationships that are falling apart, because that always takes too much of my time and energy for nothing at all. I’m not going to put a million things before my own needs, because I have realized how much I have forced myself to neglect myself by doing that. I’m not going to spread myself incredibly thin to make sure everyone else’s needs are met, because I understand I have my own needs that I keep forgetting too.

I have my own life. I have my own dreams to chase. I have my own problems to face.

I know you want to be there for me and help me through it all, but there are some things I have to do on my own.

I know you love me, so please…hope the best for me.

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About MysteriesOfLife

“I’m a simple girl.” “You lied. You aren’t simple at all.” “Maybe I’m not. But if I said that, would you have stayed around to figure me out?”
This entry was posted in About Me, Friendships, In Front Of Me, Stream Consciousness and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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