I try to ignore their words. I try to find something a little more soothing than the hatred heart. I try to turn my back on the shadow I always find chasing me. I try to be…better, in the end.
Better in the way that I am working hard towards a future no one can predict. Better in the way that I am trying to stay focused on the bigger picture. Better in the way that I am doing my best to believe there is light at the end of the tunnel.
I try to remind myself that the past is what’s gone and the present is what I need to focus on, but there comes a time where years and years of bottled up emotions need to erupt and I just need to cry. I try to keep telling myself that I can get through any roadblock that stands in my way, but there are always those nights where my body wants to shut down and my limbs are anything but strong. I try to believe in the saying that goes, “as you sow, so shall you reap“, but there are moments in which I can’t help but look up to the sky and ask “Why me?”.
Today, is one of those days.