How do you get over getting told everything that ever meant anything to you during the past several years was a lie? a facade? fake?

Stupid.

Why did I believe them when they said they were my friends? Why did I trust them when they said they cared? Why did I pour my heart out to them when they hated me?

It doesn’t make sense.

Why stay around someone and pretend to be their friend? Why stick by someone’s side and convince them that you are there for them? Why pretend to be genuine and understanding when you complain about them behind their back?

Stupid.

Why did I believe I had a “family” in the friends? Why did I trust that they would forgive me and let me turn over a new leaf? Why did I expect them to see how much I’ve changed?

Stupid.

Why did I hope for our friendships to last? Why did I dream about future plans when they didn’t want anything to do with me? Why did I believe that we would be okay even though they were holding a dagger to my back?

Stupid.

I know I’ve made mistakes. I know it’s been some time.
I know I’ve angered some people. I know true friendship is hard to find.
I know I’ve ruined things. I know a broken plate can’t be mended with the words ‘I’m sorry’.

But…

I know time has passed. I know I’ve grown up a little more.
I know I’m trying my best to do what’s right. I know I’m doing the best I can.
I know I’ve changed from the past. I know I see in a different light.

I believe someone can change, especially when someone else is there to guide them.

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