Just Like That

Just Like That

Will you ruin my favorite songs if it all goes bad

A friend tells me, I always jump all in when I find someone I get along with. I always go in for the long run when I find someone that fits me. I always am all or nothing when it comes to relationships or, really, anything new.

Is this gonna end with champagne or an empty whiskey glass

I can already feel myself reaching out for his hand when we walk side by side down the street. I can already feel myself leaning back against his chest when he stands close behind me.

You lead and I’ll follow along
Let it be whatever you want
I got a feeling this is right We can sleep it on tonight

But what ruins the fun about the present is overthinking what is going to happen in the future. People overthinking, over-analyze, and over-stress over things that they already know are out of their hands. So why stress? So why worry? So why do anything more than just enjoy this time, our time, and have our fun?

When you love at first sight was it’s just nothing
Yeah Oh will we be lovers or enemies
Or maybe somewhere in between

We will not be able to guess where we will end up in the future. If we jump all in, we won’t be able to say if it will work out and we will still be together five years down the road. But if we don’t give it a real chance at tomorrow, won’t we always be wondering “what if” we had given it all we could?

It’ll be what it’s gonna be when we both look back
Are we making my favorite memories or the reason I can’t fall asleep

I don’t know where life is going to lead us to. I don’t know what five years down the road looks like from here. I don’t know what next week looks like for me. But I will give my time to someone who is willing to give their time to me. I will give my time to him if he gives his time to me.

Will you ruin my favorite songs if it all goes bad
Is this gonna end with champagne or an empty whiskey glass

And, with that, we will see where the world leads us.

**Empty Whiskey Glass by Rajiv Dhall lyrics ❤

 

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Wait for Me

Wait for Me

Let me be honest with you guys

I am writing. I am writing a lot. I am writing my heart out onto pages and pages in books, on my drive, in my sketchbook, on scratch paper, everywhere. I am writing. I am writing because it has been a part of who I am for many, many years.

Just because I do not post and do not publish, it does not mean it is no longer a part of who I am. Writing will always be a part of who I am. Writing is a part of my heart.

I want to get that clear.

And to those of you who are following my blog(s), I will be back. In a few months, I will be back with stories to tell. I will be back to open my heart to the world once more. I will be back to all of you, one day. I hope you will wait for me until I return, more ready than I feel today.

That is all I will say.

Something Different

Something Different

I’m sick and tired of hearing the phrase “too different“. Yes, the things we aren’t used to can be somewhat intimidating. Yes, the things that we aren’t as exposed to can be very mysterious. Yes, the things we’ve never seen or dealt with may come with some trials of test and errors. But, so what?

The things you aren’t used to can teach you so much. The things you aren’t regularly exposed to can show you a whole new way to see the world in which you are living. The things you have to experiment with may just be your answer to several questions you have had steaming in the back of your mind.

I get it. There’s the “too different” that make your world clash with theirs and nothing but chaos seems to come of it, despite the lesson there is to learn in all of it. But there is also the “too different” that you feel a calling to, that beckons you to get to know it better, to explore your options and to test your limits.

Haven’t you ever been told “there’s nothing wrong with being different”? I see the world differently; you see the world differently. You examine the situation one way while I examine it with a whole different perspective. We can be sitting side by side on the spectrum, but still see things at different eye levels. We can also be trying to scream at each other from opposite sides of the spectrum but, still, either way, something comes of it.

Your world might have always been filled with security while my world might have been dusted with doubt. Your eyes might see the colors of the rainbow while my eyes see only black, grey, and white. It doesn’t matter how “different” we are. But when it comes to denying each other the potential to venture into our “different” worlds, then it matters.

Am I “too different” to try and understand what kind of life you’ve lived? Am I “too different” to become a friend who you can count on? Am I “too different” that you cannot learn anything from me, or vice versa? No.

So enough bullshit about how I will never understand how you see things, enough excuses about why you shouldn’t bother to try and explain your life to me. Enough is enough. There’s no such thing as “too different“, there’s just “different“.

Aside

NOTICE!

Hi everyone,

A bit of time has passed since my last vague post here. I did mean what I said to a certain extent. This means I will be taking a break from blogging for quite some time. I am going to be focusing on everything that is changing around me in my life right now and everything that has yet to come. If you would like to check out the post I published on my second blog, here’s the link:

“To My Readers: A Heads Up”

If any of you would like to follow my second blog, I do have posts scheduled to publish every Sunday and Thursday morning. Those will continue to go up for quite some time and hopefully I will be back before they run out.

I would like to thank you guys for following me on my journeys whether you have followed me from the beginning, middle, or just followed me recently. I have always appreciated hearing back from you all. Thank you for all the support you have given me.

Be back soon.

Aside

@MysteriesofL

Hey guys

Just wanted to let you know I have a twitter account @MysteriesofL where you would get announcements/updates from me about my blogs. Right now I have a poll up regarding the frequency of posts on my yinandyangfallingtogether blog. It will be up for one week and I will update my followers on twitter once it’s been decided (: Please go vote and follow if you haven’t done so

Special thanks to everyone who has followed my journey from the start

Best,

MysteriesofL

My Goodbye, For Now

My Goodbye, For Now

I’ve had this blog since June 2013. Wow, it’s been over five years since I published the first post here. It’s been eight years since I started writing, seven years since I started acknowledging my writing as a part of myself.

But, really, what does it do? You get lost in your own words. You hear your own pathetic thoughts. You listen to the echo of your lost heart trying to swim at bay. What for?

It’s time for me to revert things back to the way things used to be, with me. No longer will have you have an easy sneak peak within me. You want to know me? Figure it out. If anything, you have five years worth of my writing to go off of. But, keep in mind, the past and the present are not the same nor are the past and the future any further apart.

Walk Away

Walk Away

There comes parts of your life where you realize you have to let go of what you have to grasp the new beginnings of the future. It’s not that you aren’t grateful for what you currently have. It’s not that you don’t cherish what your life entails. It’s that you have a realization that you have to allow yourself to grow more, learn me, and explore more of the world that surrounds you. I think that’s where I am today.

During the past two years, I’ve truly appreciated everyone who had come into my life and made a positive influence to my future. I had found comfort in a foreign environment and I found my part in such a small community. I learned a lot about myself during the past couple years. I think I’ve found more of myself than I’ve expected to find out here. I am a better person for it.

I’ve made wonderful friends who genuinely care for me in their hearts. I’ve found special connections with those who are both still in my life and those who have gone their separate ways. If you have seen my post on Yin and Yang Falling Together titled, “…genuinely sweet…” , a part of what Ace* used to tell me stays in the back of my mind despite the lack of his appearance in my life. I admire the man he had grown up to be, and I wish him the best with the best parts of me. And I have a few friends like him who I care for truly but know we have to go our separate ways. I know we all met for some reason, but that doesn’t mean we were meant to stay.

Those that are around me currently, who have come from my “changed” life, are those I do care about. I want the best for them. And I hope they find everything they’re looking for, and some more. But the reappearance of some close souls have made me realized I hadn’t been holding anyone close to heart anymore.

I admit these past two years have given me time and allowed me to not only grow but heal. There had been multiple breaking points I encountered just during this short period of time. And I am grateful for everything I have here. But I know it’s time to go. It’s time for change.

Seeing old relationships back in my life, spending time with them almost heart-to-heart, had made me realize how much I’ve been isolating myself from the world around me. Even though I am there and present, my heart had always been closed and my mind was never truly there but elsewhere, somewhere in the skies. I know, I have known in the back of my mind, I do not belong somewhere I cannot fully invest myself in. If my heart isn’t there, if I am not one-hundred percent invested, what is the point of pretending that I am there?

I have come to a point in my life where I am given a chance to walk forward and, technically, walk away. And I have to be true to myself. I cannot hide the truth that I already know is true. It’s time for me to walk away.