The Good in The Bad

The Good in The Bad

The past couple weeks haven’t been the best. You can tell by my last few blogs on here about that numbing silence or the yearn to scream and to be told my friend is there for me. I can’t tell you that I’ve felt better, but I can say things are a lot easier.

I try not to think about it anymore. I try to occupy my time. I do my best to not stay in bed for days at a time. Let’s be honest. I let myself dwell in buckets full of my emotions way too much and way too long. But that’s how I am.

And during this time, one friend reminding me that I am genuinely cared for has pushed me to go the distance.

Let me explain how our friendship has turned out:

At first, I could talk to him for a couple hours at least twice a week. Random topics. Us being two weirdos. Just having a laugh and forgetting some of the stresses of the world. I knew I had a good feeling about this friendship for a reason; I knew I had a good feeling about him for a reason.

After a while, he went back to his normal habits of texting and we both got busier so we would talk less, see each other less. I’m the kind of person who can’t stand forgetting to respond to someone. It’s up there right next to not being able to stand seeing little red spots all over my screen, yelling at me for not checking something. He’s different.

Now, I get maybe one text once a week from him and I respond with one (while spamming him every now and then when I see a cool photo on Instagram, or need someone to rant to). Our “one text”s are long, though. They’re paragraphs just because of how many things I rant about throughout the week (I need to stop doing that. Sometimes it just feels better to be able to rant to someone despite getting a response because, honestly there sometimes isn’t a response to be given).

I saw him for maybe five minutes the other day between my jobs. He asked if I was feeling better. And it wasn’t like when normal people ask if you’re okay and you kinda already know they’re just asking to say they asked. I can always see it in his eyes that he genuinely wants to know and he genuinely cares. And that made my day, because it also made me realize that I am feeling better. Maybe it’s not perfect yet but I’m feeling a little better. That’s something!

You guys, it’s the little things!

Like the other day, when I was stressed over my head and my brain felt like it was going to burst into a million pieces, I went to my dad and told him; I went to my mom and talked about how stressed I am. And, guess what, even though they didn’t know how to help or what words to say to make it better, they listened. My mom tried to give me some pointers; she rubbed my back and told me it was going to be okay. And that meant the world to me.

Even when the world seems to be working against us, we really do need to remember and cherish these small moments that mean the world.

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A Child…Gone

A Child…Gone

A teenage boy, attending Fountain Valley High School, riding a bicycle was hit by a car on the street while not wearing his helmet. This boy, hospitalized, is announced dead a while later. March 22, 2013 was the day of this tragic event. By 2 o’clock the news spread out to his family and friends, including to his beloved high school English teacher, Steve Schutlz. March 22, days before the child’s sixteenth birthday (March 25), this boy is dead. 

The next Monday, Schutlz came to school in a black suit and wore a tie. Tears nearly falling from his eyes over this tragic loss, he talks to his students about life, how much they mean to him and the legacy of his student, who recently passed away. Regretting not being able to go around to each and every student, including this young boy, Schutlz tells his students how much he loves them and that he will always be there for them. He states that he will always listen about their lives whenever they want to talk. Schutlz also says it’s not the pay check that makes him come to work, but his students and how much he cares about them. After a while, tears are dropping around the classroom and the students set to work on their assignment: a letter to a loved one about how much they are worth, how much they care and how much they mean to the world around them.

I guess the lesson here is that, no matter how long life seems to last, no matter how torturous the problems seem, a person’s ended life can happen within days, within seconds, and will affect almost everyone around them. We all go around, knowing how much someone means to us but never having the guts to tell them or show our affection. Why? Schtulz says that it might be because we are embraced, afraid of getting teased, or anything else. But while we are being afraid of all of this, I”m afraid that one of the most hurtful things is loving words left unsaid, and unexpressed.

When you walk around today, tomorrow and every other day, please remember that three kind words from the heart, an act of affection, will make someone’s day and remind them how much they mean to this world. Because, like it or not, purposeful or by nature, no one around you will last forever. Speak up, lend a hand and do what’s right. Tell someone you love them. Share to someone how much they meant to you. Show the world how strong love and truly be. 

With love, there can’t be hate.