Dreams

Dreams

When he moved to a different town, he wanted a fresh start. He wished for a place where he didn’t get bullied. He dreamed of an environment in which he could be comfortable simply existing the way he is. He wanted an outlet that gave him energy, not drain him of his life.

When he moved to a different school, he wanted to be left alone. He was tired of the drama that came with friendships. He was exhausted from the heartaches that one-sided friendships left him with. He was sick of society’s standards and the way someone had to act in order to gain someone’s heart and care.

When he graduated, he wanted to start over. Mistake after mistake, the life he wished to leave behind showed the worst part of him, the part he wanted to leave behind. Restless, he wanted to begin again and start a new adventure. He wanted to discover life for everything that it is. He wanted to push limits and challenge the norm. He wanted to make a difference.

When he thought of university, he dreamt of getting out there and getting discovered. He wanted to finally break out of his shell. Restless, he was ecstatic about the new adventures he would begin.

Then he hit a wall.

Year after year, he became more and more restless with the potential of ten soldiers within him pounding to be set free. Year after year, he wanted a fresh start to challenge the world and discover the wonderful life he knew he was meant to live. Year after year, he continued to dream of tomorrow.

That’s why he hit a wall.

Tomorrow doesn’t come until today is over. You can’t have ‘next year’ when you’re still in ‘this year’. Accomplishments don’t create themselves; they need work.

Instead of working towards the life he wanted to live, he only dreamt of it. He wished and prayed for a second chance but then never did anything about it when he was given one. Remember, every day you wake up is another chance to make a ‘wrong’ a ‘right’; every day your eyes open is another chance to chase your dreams.

If you’re standing there pointing at a ball on the playground saying, “I want that!” but not doing anything to get it, then what are you truly doing? Nothing.

Your dreams are there for you to take. Your wishes are there for you to achieve.

The stirring in your soul has left you wondering
Should you stay or turn around
Well, just remember that your dreams they are a promise
That you were made to change the world
So don’t let fear stop you now

By: Sidewalk Prophets

I know it’s tiring. I know there will be times where you want to give up. But, honey, don’t give up on yourself. Don’t give up on your dreams. Don’t give up on…you.

“Your dreams…are a promise that you were made to change the world…”

The day he starts walking towards his dreams is the day he start living them.

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Just Lost

Just Lost

What do you want me to say? That I don’t know what I’m doing? I don’t know where this all leads?
What do you want me to do? Stop doing anything until I figure out where I want to end? Spend time planning out the little details instead of doing anything at all?

I know I don’t know where I want to be in five, ten, fifteen years. Who does?

Who has it all figured out? Who knows exactly where they’re going to be years from today/ Who? Tell me who and I’ll show you how they are simply doing what every single person is doing: figuring it out as they go.

You might know what you want to be doing in the future. You might be planning for those years ahead of time. You might have a timeline you want to strictly follow. But, the thing is, you never know what’s going to happen.

You will never be able to plan for the outcomes. You will never be able to see the mistakes before they happen. You will never be able to predict the future.

I don’t know what I want to be doing ten years from now. I don’t know where I want to be five years from now. I don’t even know what this summer will be like for me.

All I can say is this: I know what I’m doing right now.

Yes. RIGHT NOW.
Not in an hour from now. Not tonight. Not this weekend. Not next month.
But, RIGHT NOW.

I know I want to study hard in the courses I’m taking that pertain to a possible destination. I know I want to do my best to keep my friendships strong and close by. I know I want to spend my time living my life as much as I spend it working for the future. I know I want to be happy. I know I want to listen to music and get lost int he lyrics. I know I want to remember to spend time alone and experience myself fully. I know…only, that, much.

Just because I don’t know where I’m going, it doesn’t mean I have to stop doing everything to figure it out. It doesn’t mean I have to write out a plan to follow step by step. It doesn’t mean I am lost or behind from everyone else. Because, in reality, it doesn’t matter how prepared someone seems for the future because NO ONE IS READY, because no one knows what’s going to happen.

Not knowing, is okay.
Being a little lost, is okay.
IT. IS. OKAY.

A Question to Answer

A Question to Answer

I have a question for my readers. And I’d love to hear back from you all in the comments or even just email me:

mysteriesoflifeyouandme@gmail.com

(Seriously, I’d love to hear back from everyone!)

So the questions are as follows:

1. Was there a point in your life that you wanted to escape from the place you were? Did you ever think of leaving a letter, a note, a video explaining/saying something to those you would be “leaving behind” (even if, just for the time being)? How did that go? What stopped you from leaving?

2. Where do you want to go, if you don’t want to stay where you are?

To be fair, here are my answers:

1. There were many, many, many times where I felt so trapped and so limited in the ways I was expected to live my life that I wanted to be free in any way I could be. I didn’t want to constantly get lectured about how I should represent the family in public, how I need to behave to save face even in front of the relatives, or how much of a disgrace a certain act was. I didn’t want to get shoved into this limited box of characteristics I could only be if I wanted a peaceful life. I hated that idea.

The last time, I remember this night very clearly, I wanted to simply run away. I asked my boyfriend at the time very late into the night, “Would you be okay if I just picked up and left without saying anything?”, knowing he would get where I came from and what was running through my mind. He knew what position I was at in my life and he knew of all the things I was having to deal with on a daily basis during that time.
I remember planning it in my head. I parked my car outside during that time. I remember thinking, “I could sneak out through the backyard and the back fence would lead me straight to my car. I could turn off my headlights until I got a little bit further down the neighborhood. I could easily just drive off. I have money for gas. I have money for food. I could just grab a bag of clothes and head out.”
I remember thinking of what the empty street would look like at that hour. I remember feeling suddenly very relaxed and “at peace” with the thought of being out there on my own without people constantly nagging at me to do this or obey to that.
But, I never went. My boyfriend at the time had texted back, “No, I wouldn’t be. Please don’t go”, knowing I had the guts to actually go through with it. Somehow the simplicity of being reminded that I was still wanted around home made it enough for me to start slipping off to sleep. I remember telling him, “I’m here” and seeing his response, “I hope you always continue to be. I’m holding that on you.” I remember smiling and thinking, “I’m never going to live this down…” before falling asleep.

Like I said, I’ve had that thought countless of times. What stops me from going?
It’s simple: It can wait. It keeps me going. It keeps me waiting for the future.

Ever since I was little, it has been my dream to travel the world to capture the irresistible moments the heart will fall for. It has been this calling of mine that I have yet to answer to. I dream of going out there and experiencing the world through my lens, through the eyes of one who has a heavy, yet fearless, heart.

Sometimes, I wonder…since my dream of traveling as made me look forward to the future during many times where I couldn’t see myself being alive the next month, what happens once I go? What happens once I go to every location I’ve written down on my list of plans and have collected millions of photographs but still end up feeling that sense of meaningless and worthlessness at some point? Will I continue to think there is so much more out there for me, or will I think this is it?

2. I want to go to Greece. I want to go to LA. I want to go to New York. I want to go to Paris. I want to go to England. I want to go to Crystal Cove. I want to go to Catalina. I want to go to Big Bear. I want to go to San Francisco. I want to go to Vegas. I want to go to a black sand beach. I want to go to Yosemite National Park. I want to go to Artist Point. I want to go to Washington DC. I want to go to a glass beach. I want to go to Korea. I want to go to Japan. I want to go to Taiwan. I want to go to Little Corona del Mar Beach. I want to Sacramento. I want to go to the Golden Gate Bridge. I want to go to to the Great Wall of China. I want to go to the 7 wonders of the world: Great Pyramid of Giza, Hanging Gardens of Babylon, Status of Zeus at Olympia, Temple of Artemis at Ephesus, Mausoleum at Halicarnassus, Colossus of Rhodes, and the Lighthouse of Alexandria. Etc. Etc. (The list goes on)

What about you?

One Day…

One Day…

One day we’ll go to Paris together. One day we’ll go on a cruise. One day we’ll go drinking. One day we’ll take a trip to Big Bear. One day we’ll figure all of this out. One day we’ll have a bonfire. One day we’ll go on a road trip and travel the world together. One day…we’ll have it all figured out.

One day we’ll have a sleep over at my new apartment. One day we’ll walk down to the coffee shop together. One day we’ll go on a double date. One day we’ll have a movie marathon. One day…we’ll be okay.

We all have these plans for ‘one day’…but what about today?

One day this all will past. One day we will get a break from life. One day we will figure this out. One day we will be okay. One day we will talk about it. One day we will sit down and just be together. One day

“One day” gets said…every day.