I don’t know what the right words are to take away the pain from your heart, to lift the weight from your shoulders, to make everything better.
I won’t pretend to know what you’re going through, to understand the pain that you feel.
It’s okay to hurt. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to feel helpless. It’s okay to grieve.
It’s okay to want to be alone. It’s okay to heal on your own. It’s okay.
I will not continue to tell you that things will get better because, one day, you will understand that. I will not pester you to eat correctly, to drink lots of water, to take care of yourself. I will not demand that you bounce back in record time. I will not.
Just know, please, love, please just know…
I am here, for you.
I am here, for you to rant to.
I am here, for you to lean on.
I am here, for you to talk to.
I am here, to hold you.
I am here, to be gentle with you.
I am here, to take care of you.
I am here, to listen to you.
I am here, for now and always.
I don’t know what’s going to happen in life. That’s the thing about the future, you can’t predict it…you can only write it. You can guess all you want, and you can hope and wish for any future you desire but it doesn’t matter. Because unless you go out there and actively work for the future you want, you will not find yourself living the life you’ve always dreamt of.
No matter what happens, no matter how many times you fall down, no matter how many things you messed up with, you have to keep walking forward. No matter how many times your heart has been torn to pieces, no matter how many times you’ve told yourself you will never trust anyone else like that ever again, no matter how much you try to protect yourself, you have to keep that faith and that hope that pushes you onward. No matter what you think you’re worth, no matter how many regrets you have in your past, no matter how terrified you are to go all in once more, you have to keep fighting for yourself.
Because after every wrong turn, you will find yourself proudly walking down the streets again. After every mistake you thought you made, you will find yourself convinced that you wouldn’t be the person you are today without all those flaws in your past. After every terrifying and heart-aching event, you will find yourself being strong and braver than you ever thought you could be.
I don’t know what’s going to happen in my life…but, for the people who stand beside me, for the people who root for me, for the people who believe in me, for the people who know me,…for the people who have yet to meet me, for the people who are bystanders in my life, for the people who are waiting for me to fail, for the people who are looking to pick at my flaws,…for the memories I’ve yet to make, for the experiences I’ve yet to have, and – most importantly – for the woman I’ve yet to grow up and be…I won’t give up. And I hope you won’t either.
To the obnoxious young man who calmed me down, thank you.