When does one person decide to leave a situation in which they are unhappy, or how does a person decide what they have is worth holding onto and fighting for despite all the pain and frustration it has and will cause them? When do they draw the line, or how do they decide it’s not quite yet the time?
Because if you stay… Are you holding onto the potential of fixing the present for a better future, or are you holding onto the past and refusing to let go of the present because of those memories you hold dear? Are you staying because you truly, in your heart, want to stay and hope for a better tomorrow, or are you staying for someone else’s smile being able to potentially last longer?
And if you leave… Are you leaving because you know you deserve better and will actively better yourself for what’s yet to come, or are you trying to escape a part of yourself that you are too scared to try to fix? Are you walking away from someone who doesn’t see a part of who you are, or are you walking away from someone who is a reflection of what stares you in the eye every time you look in the mirror?
Let me be honest with you guys
I am writing. I am writing a lot. I am writing my heart out onto pages and pages in books, on my drive, in my sketchbook, on scratch paper, everywhere. I am writing. I am writing because it has been a part of who I am for many, many years.
Just because I do not post and do not publish, it does not mean it is no longer a part of who I am. Writing will always be a part of who I am. Writing is a part of my heart.
I want to get that clear.
And to those of you who are following my blog(s), I will be back. In a few months, I will be back with stories to tell. I will be back to open my heart to the world once more. I will be back to all of you, one day. I hope you will wait for me until I return, more ready than I feel today.
That is all I will say.
Things are settling down, but the tension remains strong. The happy moments are there, but you can’t ignore the storm. Everything you wanted, everything you wished for is there for you to grab but remember that sometimes you have to walk away from the things you once had.
Life is all about the constant trades we make. Trading your time gaming for some more time studying. Trading your free moments with friends for the comforts of home. Trade your shaky relationship for a new potential in your life. Trade this city for the next set of unread stories. Trade one passion for another raging, burning fire. Trade the toxic familiarity for a brand new start towards something new. Trade an old habit for a new learned skill. Trade the old life for one that can become everything you ever dreamed.
It’ll be hard to let go. Once we’re comfortable, we usually don’t want to leave that behind. But when you look around you and can’t help but feel burdened and tired, maybe it’s time to learn.
Our futures are composed of infinite roads and paths we have the choice to take. Whether you believe that our lives are mapped out by destiny or written with the pen that lays in the palm of our hands, the decisions we take today lead us one step closer to where we will ultimately end up. It doesn’t matter if you turn left or right, turn around to history or dream of the future, you will arrive to a place in your life that you couldn’t have ever imagined.
A friend once said, “The mystery is half the fun.”